tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35740092559140400122024-02-19T16:05:19.940-08:00Why Can't I stay pregnant?My quest to find out why is it so easy for me to get pregnant, but why can't I stay pregnant!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-3650903412771136002010-02-28T13:50:00.000-08:002010-02-28T14:09:46.315-08:00It has been an eventful last couple of months!Well, here I am finally updating this blog. I can't believe it took me this long to get to this. After my last post, things were hard for awhile. I was getting anxiety attacks, coupled with the general discomforts of pregnancy, and was emotionally and physically a wreck. Not sure how my husband tolerated me! My blood pressure slowly began to rise and during the first week of December I was sent to Labor and delivery after a routine Dr's appointment to be monitored. After spending several hours there, everything was fine, and I was sent home.<br /><br />Approximately a week later, I was back in labor and delivery, was having extreme pelvic pain, and contractions. The decided it was from my pelvic bone separating and also being dehydrated. I was sent home again with pain medication. On December 14th, I was again set to the hopsital after a routine Dr's appointment due to my elevated blood pressure and possible preeclampsia I was kept for two nites, they discussed possibly delivering me the next day if my blood pressure did not go down. (I was almost 37 weeks at this point). It did however go down, and I was sent home the next day on Bedrest. My husband then had to take leave from his job to care for our toddler and me. The following Monday, I went back to my Dr for my routine appointment, and my blood pressure was 180/100, and she decided that I needed to go back to the hospital and scheduled me for delivery the next day.<br /><br />I had a c-section the next day and gave birth to a beautiful 8lb 5oz, Baby Girl. We were released home on Christmas Day. The best present ever!<br /><br />Unfortunately a week later, she started running a fever and we were sent back to the hospital, where she had to have a spinal tap, Blood work and an IV. She was admitted for three days for IV antibiotics. Her fever went down and we were released.<br /><br />A week and a half later, she was inconsolable and began running a fever again. After taking her the Pediatrician, we were sent back to the hospital for suspected ear infections. After spending 10 hours in emergency, we were sent home with a diagnosis of a head cold.<br /><br />She eventually improved. Unfortunately a few weeks later her brother came down with RSV which developed into pneumonia. She had seemed fine except for some minor congestion.<br /><br />At her 2 month visit this past week, the Dr said she had some congestion in her lungs and did not want her to get her vaccinations until she was better. Last night she began running a fever again. We were sent back the emergency room again, where she was swabbed for RSV and her O2 levels were checked. They deemed her stable and sent us home to follow up with the Pediatrician tomorrow, and to get the RSV results.<br /><br />So it has been a busy two months or so. It has been hard to get used to being a mom of two. Since we have spent so much time in the hospital and at the Drs. Hoping things settle down soon!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-36182046868953691222009-11-01T17:10:00.000-08:002009-11-01T17:36:38.362-08:009 weeks to go! or so they say...So here I am with 9 weeks left to go, and still in a state of disbelief. Not much has happened, thankfully it has been an uneventful pregnancy. I just had an ultrasound last week and they are estimating her to be 4lbs already! She has her head wedged under my rib. The whole time I have been thinking it was her bottom and poking at her. Oops! I was lucky enough to get a 3d image of her face, and it definitely makes her seem more real. She is beautiful, it made me cry.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRcBXd44sLcFY3aDQMU7sbqc47aXFxl0YiNkW8sD0gd8goCbQ7_Zpmdm3mNkPKhv0VqjS5UUS89tFXh6yvFHmUT3bbnW9UUOnq8YUyqSxAaj1hf0zDQzUuhny7gKXc0ZnSfBt0b-SEqMAw/s1600-h/3d+us.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 130px; height: 97px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRcBXd44sLcFY3aDQMU7sbqc47aXFxl0YiNkW8sD0gd8goCbQ7_Zpmdm3mNkPKhv0VqjS5UUS89tFXh6yvFHmUT3bbnW9UUOnq8YUyqSxAaj1hf0zDQzUuhny7gKXc0ZnSfBt0b-SEqMAw/s320/3d+us.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399313603734106354" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The whole H1N1 pandemic has me a bit concerned. I have had my regular flu shot but the H1N1 is still not readily available in my area yet. I have been checking almost everyday. I am a bit nervous about going to crowded public places. It is quite scary with the news of pregnancy women ended up in ICU and dying from this flu. I don't want to be hyper about it, but I have worked to hard to get this far in the pregnancy to take any chances. So I have been limiting my activities, which is hard for my son. We have avoided places like the children's museum, and the bounce places that he so loves, in an attempt to avoid H1N1. I also have been carrying hand sanitizer and antibacterial wipes with me and being super vigilant about them.<br /><br />I have stopped sleeping, just can't seem to get comfortable. My pubic bone feels like it is splitting in half most of the time. She keeps kicking me in the cervix or something so hard it makes me feel like I am going to pee my pants and throw up at the same time. But I am not complaining. I thank god for every nudge and kick. It doesn't matter how uncomfortable I am, I know it is worth it.<br /><br />I have started getting her room ready, although I have to admit it makes me a little nervous. Her clothes are being washed, and will soon be hung in her closet. My anxiety is still there in the back of my mind however. I sometimes cannot believe that she will be here soon. I am scared that everything is so out of my control. As long as she is still inside my belly, there is nothing I can do to make sure nothing will happen to her. I know it is best for her to stay inside for as long as possible but I would be lying to say I am not worried about cord accidents and other causes of fetal death. I guess because of my history, the anxiety and uncertainty will always be there.<br /><br />I still get worried when she is quiet, and although I try not to be superstitious, it is hard. This morning a necklace that I have been wearing for the whole pregnancy broke. I almost had an anxiety attack when this happened. It is a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">swarovski</span> crystal egg necklace from the born collection which is a symbol of fertility. My mother in law got this for me for mother's day this year. I began to cry, worry aloud that is was a bad omen, but my husband firmly reminded me that it was just a necklace and nothing more. I am however taking it to get fixed tomorrow.<br /><br />This tail end of the pregnancy is different then my last. For my son, I was put on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">bed rest</span> because of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">pre-eclampsia</span> at this week and spent the next 6 weeks on the couch, watching TV, reading books and the like. And delivered all 8lbs 14oz of him at 37 1/2 weeks. So far my blood pressure has stayed down with this pregnancy, so I am still up and around. Boy can I feel it. I am so exhausted, and it is difficult looking after my son. Right now I am tentatively scheduled for a c-section on 12/29 which is only 5 days before my due date. My husband does not think there is anyway I will make it still then, especially since the baby is measuring so large, approx 2 weeks ahead. So I guess we will see.<br /><br />I will keep you updated. I have a Dr's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">appt</span> tomorrow, and am supposed to find out the actual scheduled delivery date!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-56892248262853181922009-09-27T17:54:00.000-07:002009-09-27T18:06:37.116-07:00So no news is Good News!Sorry it has been awhile, but there happily has been nothing to report. Everything seems to be going well except the usually aches and pains of pregnancy. The baby is growing on schedule and is doing well. I feel her move on a regular basis which has eased some of my anxiety. However, last week I was feeling decreased movement and called the doctor because I was also having contractions. She sent me to the hospital for a non-stress test and thankfully everything is was fine. It seem that the placement of the placenta is really affecting the amount of her movements I can feel. So at least it made me feel better knowing she was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ok</span>.<br /><br />I have started getting the horrible pubic bone pain which is annoying and sleeping is beginning to become more difficult. My allergies and asthma are driving me nuts right now. I definitely have a belly now! I have been having some contractions but the Dr says they are just <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Braxton</span> Hicks contractions and to make sure I am drinking enough water. <br /><br />I just started taking a prenatal water aerobics class and I love it! It definitely feels good to be in the water. I have had fun doing some shopping picking up some little outfits for her, and we have two names on the top of the list right now, Genevieve Marie or Arabella Rose. But it may change before she comes who knows. <br /><br />I am a little nervous about the approaching flu season and trying to figure out how to stay healthy and still go out and about. Overall, emotionally things are better and I feel less anxious but I still have my moments. I just try to take it one day at a time.<br /><br />My next <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">dr's</span> appointment is tomorrow and I am hoping I will get to have another ultrasound soon, so I can see her again!<br /><br />Well I am off to bed, seems the tiredness is back!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-17047028573668562932009-08-20T07:27:00.000-07:002009-08-20T07:31:49.041-07:00It's a . . .A GIRL! She was not much more cooperative this time. It took them forever to get the pictures of the heart that they wanted. But everything looks good the heart looks normal, which was a relief. This doesn't mean that she doesn't have down syndrome but with everything being normal it lowers our risk factor. So now we just have to wait and see.<br /><br />I really can't believe it is a girl! I was so surprised. Looking forward to going and getting some pink clothes with ruffles on the butt. LOL.<br /><br />But most importantly she looks healthy which is all I wanted. Thanks for the continued prayers it means to world to me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-62288563319499585942009-08-05T13:30:00.000-07:002009-08-05T13:35:00.128-07:00It's a . . . .<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">uncooperative</span> baby! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">LOL</span>. So everything they could see looked normal, but the baby was moving around like crazy so they had a very hard time getting the measurements they needed. They were not able to get a good look at the heart which is one of the main defects they are looking for, so I have to go back in two weeks for another ultrasound. They also tried to get a good look at the gender but the baby would not spread its legs apart enough to confirm anything. So I am partly relieved that they saw none of the soft markers for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">down's</span> syndrome, but I won't feel completely <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ok</span> until they can get a good look at the heart. So here is to another two week wait. I will keep you posted!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-73178678652314867682009-08-03T17:00:00.000-07:002009-08-03T17:19:36.078-07:00So tomorrow is the day...Tomorrow is the day of the "Big" ultrasound. And I have to admit I am pretty nervous. I have done <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">alot</span> of research, so I know what "markers" they will be looking for. I wanted to feel prepared for whatever is thrown at me, so I know what questions to ask. My husband does not understand this, but it makes me feel I little more controlled in a situation that is completely out of my control. I just want this baby to be healthy.<br /><br /> It is also a bit exciting finding out what the baby is too. That is, if the baby cooperates. I have gone back and forth a bit on whether I wanted to find out the sex or not. In the end I feel that I do want to know because I think it will help me bond with this baby and will make the pregnancy seem more real to me.<br /><br />I still feel at times in a state of disbelief. Not really fully believing that there will be a baby in December. Though this may be natural protection mechanism after all that I have been through, I worry that it will hinder me being able to bond with this baby.<br /><br />I will update tomorrow night. Thanks for all the prayers and support.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-4888629931465412512009-07-22T06:40:00.000-07:002009-07-22T06:51:55.040-07:002nd Trimester! Still hanging in there!So here it is week 17! I really can't believe it. I am still in a constant state of disbelief. I still tend to "forget" that I am pregnant. Although I do have a belly, it is that in between stage where people are wondering is she pregnant or does she just drink too much beer. I am still stressing, but not as regularly. I listen to the baby's heartbeat everyday with the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">doppler</span> and do get upset when I don't find it right away. This drives my husband absolutely nuts.<br /><br />I go back the OB next week on the 28<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">th</span> and then the "big" ultrasound is scheduled for August 4<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">th</span>. The Genetics place is having me come back there to have the ultrasound. I am still really nervous about this. But whatever will be will be. My husband really wants to know the sex of the baby. We didn't find out with our first, he was a surprise. So that will be different. I am wondering if knowing what the baby is will make me more bonded? I do worry about mistakes though. Someone I know just had a baby a month or so ago and they told her she was having a another girl, so they had everything ready and had been calling "her" Alexandra since they found out. And surprise, surprise, "she" turned out to be an he. A little shocking. But I figure they only had the one big ultrasound where I will be having monthly ultrasounds so I guess I can just have them make sure each month.<br /><br />The last few weeks have been pretty calm. Just the regular pregnancy issues, still craving salad, still tired, heartburn has started. Trying hard not to gain too much weight. But what can you do.<br /><br />Just wanted to update you all, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-90109569900157384802009-07-08T06:32:00.000-07:002009-07-08T06:44:48.691-07:00Whatever will be will be. . . .We met with the Genetic Counselor this week and it was very informative. It seem that only one of the three things they consider for the first trimester screening was abnormal.<br /><br />My <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">HCG</span> was normal, the baby's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">nuchal</span> fold was normal, it was only the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">papp</span>-A which was abnormal coming back lower than average. Which is why my risk for a child with down syndrome rose from my age related risk of 1 in 215 to 1 in 131.<br /><br />Yes, this is still less than one percent and the risk of the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">amnio</span> is anywhere from 1 in 300 to 1 in 1000 depending on which study you refer to.<br /><br />So hubby and I have decided not to have the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">amnio</span> because we worked too hard to get to this point in a pregnancy and would not be able to live with ourselves if we lost the pregnancy due to the test. We are going to proceed with the second trimester screening in a few weeks and then have the detailed anatomy scan at 19 weeks. The Genetic counselor said if this scan come back clean for any soft markers then my risk will be <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">recalculated</span> and lessened.<br /><br />On another note though the decreased <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">papp</span>-A value has been linked to other pregnancy <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">complications</span>, such as placental <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">insufficiency</span>, fetal death, preterm birth, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">IUGR</span>, low birth weight and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">preclampsia</span>. So the Dr has decided she will monitor me more closely with monthly ultrasound with focus on the placenta. Especially since my mother lost three pregnancies between 18 and 24 weeks.<br /><br />So for now we are just letting it all go with God, whatever will be will be. It is out of our control. Until the baby is viable, even if there is a problem with the placenta, nothing can really be done. So I cannot stress over something that is beyond human control.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-12663631290324076132009-06-25T18:31:00.000-07:002009-06-25T18:49:56.794-07:00Reality Bites...So today was a bad day. My car broke down in the middle of a Burger King drive thru.A bunch of workers had to come push my car out of the way. So embarassing. It was pretty hot out too. While waiting for the tow truck I got a call from my Dr.my first trimester screening came back with a slightly elevated postive for down syndrome. I felt like someone had knocked the wind right out of me. Here I had been so worried about everything else and the one thing I didn't even give a second thought to has come to call. So the chance of downs is 1 in 131 according to the blood test even though the ultrasound was completely normal. Not even sure how to feel right now. Dr recommended going to speak to a genetic counselor so I guess I will call and make an appointment tomorrow. I am feeling angry right I just want things to easy for a change is that really too much to ask?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-26676682793989570382009-06-23T07:53:00.000-07:002009-06-23T08:07:49.364-07:0012 weeks - I can't believe itSo my husband somehow fried our computer with a virus and I am posting from my new blackberry so apologize if the formatting is screwy. All went well at my ultrasound on Thursday. My mother, mother in law, husband and son were all there. The baby looked great, measuring right on target and nuchal fold looked normal. It was moving all around and even got the hiccups while we were watching. It was very surreal.<br /><br />It was sort of bitter sweet day however as I had found out that morning that one of friend's baby boy had died the day before at 37 weeks. I was absolutely heartbroken for her and her family.It was also a reminder how fragile life is and how just because you make it that far nothing is a certainty. <br /><br />I will most likely never feel secure and truly believe I will get a baby until he or she is alive and in my arms.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-90051166703707267382009-06-15T09:45:00.000-07:002009-06-15T09:52:38.968-07:00Hating the waitingSo this is the first week I did not have an ultrasound. I am not handling the not knowing well. I think I have found the baby's heartbeat a couple of times with the doppler but not in the last two days. I am starting to feel really worried even though I know it is early. My next ultrasound is Thursday. My mother-in-law is coming in from Florida tomorrow for my son's birthday and is planning on going to the ultrasound with me. My biggest fear is that I will get the worst news with her and my mother there. I just wish there was a way to know...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-21807010889394567492009-06-08T18:01:00.000-07:002009-06-08T18:15:57.520-07:00It's okay!Sorry for the late update, had a bunch of unrelated family drama that took up a lot of my time since my last post. So my Dr visit was ok, she tried to listen for the heartbeat with the doppler but was unable to. Which she said was normal as it was still early. But she knew how anxious it was making me so she was able to get me in for an ultrasound that day butI had to drive to their other office which is about 30 minutes away. I really didn't want to go by myself just in case. It so sucks to think that way but it is just my reality. I called hubby but didn't think he could make it in time. So I called my Mom and she met me there. My mom went in with me and surprisingly hubby made it too. There on the screen was a beautiful little baby with little arms and legs moving all over! I cried so hard, I was so surprised that everything was still alright. And that is how I continue, continually in a state of disbelief.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-27589443069831299772009-06-04T06:53:00.000-07:002009-06-04T06:57:35.176-07:00I am starting to freak a bit...So the morning sickness has been much better the last few days and it is really starting to freak me out. I go the the regular OB today for the first time and I think I am going to have to beg them to schedule me for another ultrasound as I just need to see that the little heart is still beating. The anxiety is getting the best of me and I hate that. <br /><br />I am really nervous again today and just preparing myself for the worst. Wondering if I can ever go to a Dr's appointment again without having an anxiety attack.<br /><br />I will update later...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-65089540221897437852009-06-01T15:16:00.000-07:002009-06-01T15:26:45.388-07:00Happy to be queasy! Scared to feel better.So far so good. At the ultrasound the baby looked great, it measured 8 1/2 weeks, the heart rate was in the 170's and it was even moving a bit. It was surreal, I cried. For the first time I started to think I might actually be having a baby, not just be pregnant.<br /><br />But it is still a day to day struggle. I got the doppler but haven't been able to hear anything yet. I have officially "graduated" from the RE and am headed back to my regular OB. Can't say that I am entirely comfortable with that. I have really appreciated having the weekly ultrasounds, it has given me some reassurance and something to look forward to. Not sure what my regular OB will do. I have my first appointment with her on Thursday so I guess we will see.<br /><br />I am still anxious, today I am not as nauseous so I have been a little worried. I wish I could just know if the baby was still alive. But I am really tired still, and my boobs still hurt. So I will try to take comfort in that. Also my loving husband has given me his cold, so I feel a bit under the weather. . .fun! Today I am pregnant, I love my baby and that is all that matters.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-64288212573543291132009-05-26T17:18:00.000-07:002009-05-26T17:29:52.642-07:00I'm still Pregnant! 8 weeks and still goingSo we have made it to 8 weeks, and as of Friday still have a heartbeat. The heart rate was 164. Everything looked as the Dr said "absolutely perfect". Size is measuring right on target. I have been getting nauseous almost daily, which is a good sign per the Dr. I didn't know it was possible to be happy about feeling <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pukey</span>, but I am grateful. I have one more ultrasound scheduled with the RE on Friday and then if everything still looks good she is transferring me back to my regular OB. This makes me kind of nervous but then again everything makes me a little nervous.<br /><br />Although everything seems to be going well, I still have periods on extreme anxiety. I am so grateful for the weekly ultrasounds, since they have taken the edge off this very fragile time. But it is still so hard to be positive or optimistic. My mom asked me when I thought it would be okay to start feeling hopeful, and I just didn't have an answer.<br /><br />I am hoping to buy a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">doppler</span> in the next week or so I can use it to reassure myself when I get anxious. I had rented one when I was pregnant with my son and it really helped <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">alot</span>. I am still in a state of disbelief, it doesn't quite seem real.<br /><br />I am not sure when it will seem real but I will keep you posted.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-74053825786933469142009-05-19T05:32:00.000-07:002009-05-19T05:38:29.003-07:00The fear is still there....I want to be happy, but I just can't seem to to be. The fear is still there, hovering over my every moment. I am constantly second guessing the symptoms. Do my boobs still hurt? Do they hurt less than yesterday? Am I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">nauseous</span> or it is just in my head? The fear <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">every time</span> I go to the bathroom, is that mucus slightly pink? Every little pain, is that a cramp, is this the beginning of the end. My husband doesn't understand even though he tries, his attitude is everything is fine, we saw the ultrasound. I just try to get by every day and wonder when or if I will every feel confident enough to be happy. I just keep telling myself I am pregnant and that is all that matters, and I guess we will see what Friday will bring.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-84745046549184442842009-05-15T13:59:00.000-07:002009-05-15T14:06:39.346-07:00We have a heartbeat!So I had my ultrasound this morning and I was truly prepared for the worst. I have been writing off all the pregnancy symptoms this week and just keeping myself super busy and not thinking about it. The ultrasound showed a little heartbeat. I was so surprised I started crying.<br /><br />I am measuring at 6 1/2 weeks and RE says everything looks normal. So we made it through another week, Yippee and over one hurdle!<br /><br />We couldn't hear it with the ultrasound machine yet, but RE says that by next week she should be able to pick it up with the ultrasound. So I guess we will see. So I go again next Friday for another ultrasound and I will just keep praying that this little one hangs in there!<br /><br />Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-35443490291877192352009-05-10T08:03:00.000-07:002009-05-10T08:10:29.169-07:00Happy Mother's Day!Sorry I didn't post sooner, but we had some <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">internet</span> problems and I couldn't get online.<br /><br />So we had our ultrasound at 9am on Friday, it went <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">ok</span>. There was a sack and a yolk sac, and the start of a fetal pole, no heartbeat yet. RE is optimistic, she is dating me at 5 weeks and says this is perfectly normal for 5 weeks. So we wait and do another ultrasound a week later on Friday again. So that is it.<br /><br />I have told my family and some close friends so I can lean on them, but other than that I am still going on as if I am not pregnant. My boobs still hurt and I am exhausted, so these are good signs. But I am still just taking it day by day until Friday.<br /><br />My new mantra is "I am pregnant today, that this all that matters right now."<br /><br />Thank you all for the kind thoughts and posts, it means the world to me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-17720581691682326922009-05-04T04:08:00.000-07:002009-05-04T04:21:43.030-07:00A little bit more pregnant!So the results are in and we are up to 597 as of Friday! So RE says the next step is to call today and schedule an ultrasound to see what is going on. I have to say that I am pretty anxious. I have been purposely keeping myself busy to keep my mind off of things. But still the fear is there, every twinge, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">every time</span> I go to the bathroom, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">every time</span> I wait for the Dr to call.<br /><br />But I have decided to not be crazy this time, that just because I read the pregnancy book or looked at a maternity shirt, that I did not jinx myself. I putting this one entirely in God's hands, and focusing on the fact that nothing I do will make any difference. If it is meant to be then it will work if not then at least we have a plan to give us better odds next time around.<br /><br />In a way my husband and I are just kind of pretending that I am not pregnant, and not focusing on it or thinking about it. I know that is a little weird but I think we have to remain a bit detached to save our sanity. I think if we make it past where we lost the last pregnancy we may feel a little better. <br /><br />But to tell the truth I know I will be on edge until I am holding a baby in my arms. For me pregnancy means only that I am technically pregnant, it does not necessarily mean I am having a baby. The innocence and joy of being pregnant was lost awhile ago.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-56305532684344717522009-04-30T18:27:00.000-07:002009-04-30T18:34:59.988-07:00I have officially missed a period! Hurray!So Aunt Flo was a no show today! Thank God! Got my quantitative <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">HCG</span> from yesterday and it is 257! So we have a little more than doubled. So we are still in the game!<br /><br />I go for more <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">blood work</span> tomorrow and RE says she will call me on Saturday to give me the results and let me know what the next step is.<br /><br />I asked about my progesterone and all they would say was that it was really good and I didn't need the supplements but they would keep checking.<br /><br />I think the antibiotics are doing the trick as I am finally feeling better. So I am staying cautiously optimistic but just taking it one day at a time. Which is all I can do.<br /><br />I will post again on Saturday after I hear from the RE.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-51534083932041735192009-04-29T06:37:00.000-07:002009-04-29T06:49:20.404-07:00So far so good...except for this darn cold.Well I got the results of the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">blood test</span> I had on Thursday, which is that day I first tested positive with a dollar store test. Boy was I surprised to find out my quantitative level was only 13, boy those dollar store tests are sensitive. So RE had called on Friday to let me know that it was a low positive and wanted to know if I missed my period yet. I told her it wasn't due till the following week and she though it looked hopeful. <br /><br />So I went for more <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">blood work</span> on Monday and got the results yesterday. They were hoping for a number in the 50's or higher and it was 117. So far so good. And my boobs still hurt! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Yeah</span>!<br /><br />On another note I have been battling a cold since last Monday which is the main reason I suspected I might be pregnant. I seem to always get a really bad cold as soon as implantation happens. Finally went to the Dr since I am just not getting any better, just horrible congestion and coughing non stop. Dr says it is a sinus infection and an ear infection, so he put me on antibiotics. Hope they help since I can't take anything else for now.<br /><br />So I am just taking it day by day, trying not to be to hopeful or too pessimistic. I am still freaked out by every twinge, and constantly poking my boobs to see if they are still sore. And don't ask me how many tests I have peed on, because I am too <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">embarrassed</span> to give you the real number. At some moments I am not sure if I can do this again, but I know that I can't give up. My period is actually due tomorrow, so I am still afraid <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">every time</span> I go to the bathroom. But that is just the way it is for me.<br /><br />I am off to have more <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">blood work</span> and I will get the results tomorrow. Thank you all for the hope and prayers, it really means the world to me!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-26154693467895115342009-04-23T11:55:00.000-07:002009-04-23T12:05:02.502-07:00So the rollercoaster ride continues...Sorry it has been a while since I posted an update but my Mother in Law was visiting, and the computer is in our spare room where she was staying and I just didn't get a moment to get on there.<br /><br />So they have decided that I have <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">ovulatory</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">disfunction</span>. Mainly that I tend to ovulate too early, which means that the uterine lining and hormone levels are not ready for pregnancy when the fertilized egg tries to implant, thus pregnant but inevitable miscarriage.<br /><br />So the solution for this is to take over chemically the whole ovulation process and do a complete cycle with insemination to give us the best odds. RE says this creates a better ovulation and better egg quality.<br /><br />So the way this works is that I have been taking <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">synarel</span> since Saturday to shut my ovaries down, so there is no chance they can do anything before the Dr wants them to.<br /><br />Once I get my period, I am supposed to start shots of <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">FSH</span> or <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">Gonal</span> F, then after 7 days have daily ultrasounds to monitor the progress of the follicles. Once they are mature, then I get an <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">HCG</span> shot to stimulate ovulation, and have sex and insemination and hopefully success!<br /><br />So here I am 7 days away from when Aunt Flo is supposed to arrive and I have already screwed up the whole process. I got a positive pregnancy test this morning. oh no...<br /><br />So I went to have blood work this morning and will get the results tomorrow. So RE had me stop the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">synarel</span> until we figure out if this is a go or not.<br /><br />I am not too hopeful, feel like I will probably miscarry this pregnancy too, since I ovulated 5 day early this month. Guess I just have to wait and pray....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-17233807009386819012009-04-10T05:05:00.000-07:002009-04-10T05:16:47.265-07:00Survived the HSG. . .barely!Well I went for the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">HSG</span> on Tuesday at 11am. Honestly the test was pretty tame. Mildly uncomfortable, but not too bad. Had some bleeding afterward. The test was normal, uterus looked good and both tubes are open, Yippee!<br /><br />I left the test and went up to work, and about three hours later I started feeling <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">alot</span> of pressure and pain in my lower abdominal area. The pain continued to to get worse and to rise upward. I started feeling nauseous and light headed. I called m husband and asked him to come get me.<br /><br />I called the Dr's office but they were already closed. The pain continued to get worse. Mind you, this was NOT cramping it was pain. It felt like my whole torso had been bruised, it was extremely painful just to move. My stomach looked really bloated and swollen.<br /><br />After getting home, I call the Dr's emergency line and spoke to the on call Dr and he said it sounded like I was having an allergic reaction to the dye and that I should go to the emergency room. So we went to the ER and we were there until 4:30 am Wednesday morning. They did tons of tests and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">xrays</span> and gave me some wonderful pain <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">meds</span>. And decided that is was probably a reaction to the dye and sent me home.<br /><br />That whole next day though I was completely out of it, probably from the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">meds</span>, and I felt really sore, like I had worked out too much or something. It was really strange...<br /><br />To top it off my day 3 <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">FSH</span> still did not come back normal, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">FSH</span> was 5.5 and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">estradiol</span> was 108. It is definitely better than last month but still not normal. So I have an appointment to discuss the results with the RE on Wednesday so I will let you all know what the outcome is.<br /><br />Well I am off to clean my house as my In-laws are coming to visit and will be staying for the week! Hope you all have a wonderful holiday!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-53165093468604765742009-04-04T12:24:00.000-07:002009-04-04T12:28:48.497-07:00So I am not pregnant and AF a week early..So Aunt Flo arrived exactly a week early, so I guess my whole cycle was running a week early. I went for my day 3 FSH today, so hopefully that will come back in the normal range now.<br /><br />I have an HSG scheduled for Tuesday just to rule out any scar tissue left over from the C-section. And then I guess we will see what the next step is. I am a little nervous about the HSG but I will do whatever needs to be done and it can't be as bad as the "devil sticks" were and I survived that!<br /><br />I feel a little better about everything, since I feel like I am actually doing something!<br /><br />Also the weightloss is going great, 15.2 lbs lost so far. I love weight watchers!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3574009255914040012.post-5814115874733905882009-03-17T10:15:00.000-07:002009-03-28T18:32:33.121-07:00The bloodwork is in, and it is not so good.So I finally called the Dr's office back and asked to speak to a nurse. I just had some questions that needed to be answered.<br /><br />Turns out the reason they changed the plan for the clomid is that my FSH/estradiol test results did not come back in the normal range.<br /><br />My FSH was fine at 3. But my estradiol was very high at 260. Which explains why they did the HCG pregnancy screen. So they feel that the chances of sucess is low so they will not treat this cycle. What this all means she says I will have to discuss with the Dr. So at least I have some idea of what is going on...<br /><br />But this is the first test I have had that did not come back normal, so maybe we are the right track to getting an answer..<br /><br />I guess I will just have to wait to find out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2