So tomorrow is the day...

Tomorrow is the day of the "Big" ultrasound. And I have to admit I am pretty nervous. I have done alot of research, so I know what "markers" they will be looking for. I wanted to feel prepared for whatever is thrown at me, so I know what questions to ask. My husband does not understand this, but it makes me feel I little more controlled in a situation that is completely out of my control. I just want this baby to be healthy.

It is also a bit exciting finding out what the baby is too. That is, if the baby cooperates. I have gone back and forth a bit on whether I wanted to find out the sex or not. In the end I feel that I do want to know because I think it will help me bond with this baby and will make the pregnancy seem more real to me.

I still feel at times in a state of disbelief. Not really fully believing that there will be a baby in December. Though this may be natural protection mechanism after all that I have been through, I worry that it will hinder me being able to bond with this baby.

I will update tomorrow night. Thanks for all the prayers and support.