Thursday, February 12, 2009

I survived my D & C and all I have to show for it is some lousy mesh panties.

I am glad to report that my D & C was much less traumatic than the insertion of the previously mentioned "devil sticks".

My mom and my husband came with me. I know some may think it is weird that my mom came, but my mom suffered 6 miscarriages, two of them in the second trimester (none of which there was ever cause for found). So she is my rock through all this. She also feels tremendously guilty for this, that she has some how passed this on to me.

I arrived hospital at the appointed hour (11:45), was brought back and given a gown, booties and hat to put on. Nurse came and inserted the IV. Then my mom and husband were allowed to come back with me. We waited for awhile, that is when my nerves kicked in, and the crying began. Things were running behind and I had far too much time to think.

My Dr finally came to talk to me (2:00), then the nurses are came and introduced themselves. The anesthesiologist came and explained exactly what would happen when I got back there. A few minutes later a nurse came and walked me back.

I got into the operating room and sat on the table, and completely broke down, sobbing my heart out. The nurses were so wonderful. They said just cry it out. It's okay, you suffered a terrible loss and you are having a really bad day. It is okay to just let it out. One even cried a little with me. So I cried. Then I laid back and next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room.

They got me up, gave me my mesh panties and got me in a chair. A little while later my mom and husband came back. After about an hour at 4pm I was ok to leave. And we left. My husband picked up food at Mc Donalds and I inhaled a quarter pounder and fries. (mind you I had not eaten since before midnite the day before) We got home I crawled into bed and slept for 6 more hours. Then I woke up.

Then I cried again. I didn't feel pregnant anymore. I wasn't pregnant anymore. Not even a little bit. It was really over...

12 comments:

The Closet Therapist said...

I just went through this too with a similar experience. You can see my latest blog entry. I hope you get pregnant again soon. So sorry for your loss.

M said...

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I just learned of a loss (after 8wk) from ultrasound yesterday and need to decide natural vs. D&C. If D&C, need to decide general vs. local anesthesia (both sound bad). It's all terrifying on top of the awful sadness. I found this post through surfing. Your voice is more real than all of the generic web pages out there, and it's so nice to read your honest opinions. Do you still wish you'd done natural, or are you glad you did D&C?

Good luck on your current pregnancy, my hopes are high for you.

Anonymous said...

I had a d&c peformed yesterday and I think losing my baby has been the worst experience of my life, not feeling pregnant is such a concept I wish I would be pregnant and having morning sickness right now instead of not having my baby but I guess everything happens for a reason and soon we will have another baby

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amiehoagland said...

I feel your pain. I recently delivered a 16 week baby and wound up having a D & C because the placenta wouldn't come out. Worst experience of my life. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I had my D&C yesterday. I really don't know how to express how i feel just last week I was searching baby names and now I'm not pregnant anymore. As I was waiting for them to take to the operating room all I could think of is that's my baby is gone and all I could do is cry.

Lainey-Paney said...

Been there.
Done that.
Got the mesh panties to prove it.

And I was wheeled away---very unpregnant.

Carly A. said...

I have to go in tomorrow...for a D&C. My body has already morphed back into what it was before my beautiful baby. 12 weeks ago, I was walking on clouds. Three months seems short until you realize they were the best three months of your life and you will never have them back. I am not sure if I will ever be Carly again. I am lost. I am empty. I want my baby back.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for making me laugh during this horrible time. I really wish I thought of the mesh panties comment myself so I could put it on a t-shirt. I had my D&C last week and while it wasn't the greatest experience, I think it would have been much more traumatic for me to have had the miscarriage at home. I say go for the general anesthetic if they offer it; you don't remember a thing. The mesh underwear were a strange thing for me. I didn't want to take them off and I kept them. ??? Oh well, who knows why I do anything anymore. I'm just trying to pass each day without crying. So far I've been unsuccessful but I know a dry day is coming. Thanks again for the chuckle. - Candice

Anonymous said...

i needed that it feels like your alone after it happens. people keep telling me that its common and to get over it my D&C but it was 2 months ago and i still touch my stomach wishing and praying to feel my baby but theres nothing.

Anonymous said...

I too just had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I feel so lost I never thought it would be this hard. I wrote this poem for my baby and I hope it gives some of you comfort as well.
Our little angel

We will never fully understand why
We will never be able to hear your cry
We will never see your precious face
We will never feel your warm embrace
We will never call you by your name
Life for us will never be the same
We will never hear your little voice
this is not ours but gods choice
We will never know if you are a girl or a boy
We will never be able to hold our little bundle of joy
We will neer know the color of your hair
our hearts are so heavy its just not fair
Then we hear god speak to us never say never
For I hold your baby in heaven forever
When you get here you will understand why
Please stay strong and do not cry
You will see his precious face
You will feel his warm embrace
You will call him by name
You will understand you were never to blame
You will see the color of his hair
He already knows how much you love him and care
I will take care of your little bundle of joy
Someday you will see our little girl or boy
His purpose in life was to be with me
He is now your little angel someday you will see
What peace it brings to your dad and I
To know that this is only a temporary goodbye
God will take care of you better then we could do
Your our little angel and forever we will love you

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. Your title gave me a bit of a laugh after finding out another one of my friends is pregnant. I had a D&C in January and its still hard to think about. Thank you for the smile.