It has been awhile and alot has happen...or not

My levels finally returned to zero on their own so I did not need the shot. I bled until the 12th of December, it was bad but not intolerable. I really did prefer it to the D & E. But surprise surprise, my period did not come. And my boobs hurt a little..hmmm

On 1/7 I used a left over dollar store test and waited a few minutes and nothing. So I went and made dinner about 30 mins later, I went back to the bathroom to get something, and there it was still sitting there with a faint line. I figured it was nothing since it was beyond the 10 mins. And decided I would just retest in the morning to be sure.

I got another BFP on 1/8. Dh & I were not trying, so this was a total fluke. In fact Dr. said to wait a month. But there it was those two little lines, instantly I felt despair, could I do this again? I cried. I then called the Dr. and she immediately sent me for a blood test and phoned in a script for progesterone. I have subsequently had bloodwork every other day. These are my results so far...

1/9 - Hcg 171, prog. 14.8 - put on prog suppostitories 25mg x2 day
1/11 hcg 426, prog not tested
1/13 hcg 1122, prog 11.1
1/15 hcg 1822, prog 10.8
1/17 hcg 3066, prog 11.8

Went for u/s on 1/16, all that was seen was a sac, but dr. says that is what she would expect to see and upped my prog supps to 4 a day. I go back on Friday for another u/s to determine if there has been any development.

I am filled with doom and gloom, and my husband does his best to keep me optimistic. I second guess every symptom...do my boobs still hurt, more or less than yesterday, am I nauseous or just anxious,for every twinge, is that a cramp signalling the end..

Do I even know how to be happy or hopeful any more?

Please keep us in your thoughts